Lolita Bonita


2018 was a testing time. It was a big year for me in many ways and for the first time I took a real step back and looked into, what was my life. It was a turning point, time to make some critical decisions about what I wanted to do, the person I wanted to be and the life I wanted to lead. I made my choices and jobs were left, houses were moved, education reignited, toxic people were left behind and some friends decided to walk away – but whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? I was drowning! Drowning in a sea of guilt, regret, past woes and self loathing. With support of family and friends I found the strength to save myself. That is when I began to make the right choices for me – I can now focus on growing as a person.

On the road of a new career, loyal friends by my side and a new city calling me. I made my own path and I am happy! At the start of 2019, I had a discussion with a close friend of where I want this year to go and what it meant for me. I came to the conclusion that now I feel semi sorted within myself I wanted to take that strength and new-found power and put it into growing as a person. Not only for me but for those around me. Over the weeks I have reflected on what that means for me, you may believe different but here are some of the mantras I felt strongly about and will try to incorporate into my life.


Now this is easier said than done, but once I started taking responsibility for my failures I could slowly turn it into something positive. I could shake that heavy weight off my shoulders and start to reflect. Soon, I realised those decisions brought me to where I am now and right now I’m pretty happy! I was also able to analyse my own behaviour, work on my flaws, celebrate my strong points and build bridges if needed.

Growing as a person means I continually learn and stop acting like I know all in life. Learn from my actions and words, learn from others and also learn new talents and hobbies. I’ve gone back into education as well as taking up a new sport and language. My mind will keep growing as long as I let it.

This is a big one and it may surprise you how uplifting it is to forgive. There are no more dark clouds looming above and bad memories are simply a memory – you can’t change them.  It is so detrimental to your mental health to hold a grudge so my tip to you shake it off. If they are that important a mends will be made, if not your going to be the miserable one carrying this weight not them. The biggest relief of all is forgiving yourself – I’m still working on that one.

Take it all in, a fresh wind blowing your way and it smells of success. Change is the best way to learn and to grow. A different outlook, different views, maybe a different home, town or even country. Roll with it!  Welcome change without fear and it opens a door of opportunities.

Growing as a person is not just focusing on the one and only – it’s celebrating the success of others. That is so important. We all know how easy to wish we had what others wanted, feelings of jealously and envy.   Especially with the storm of social media – we only ever post the good bits of life. We are all guilty of it including me. However, focusing on well wishes and learning from other people’s experiences and wins in life will only expand your mind and emotions.

I honestly feel that if I manage to incorporate these ideals into my every day motions then next year I really will be living my best life.

How do you help yourself grow as a person?

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