Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it doesn’t determine whether you are relationship ready. You could be putting yourself through a needless time within a person that you don’t particularly want to be with, or maybe you’re not just quite ready to settle down yet; either way, being relationship ready is not just a state of mind – there are lots of other factors to take into consideration alongside.

Work Commitments

More and more people are focusing on their careers rather than settling down to start a family, get married or a combination of all three. The average age for a first-time mother is rising, mainly due to the amount of people who are committed to furthering themselves in the workplace. It’s definitely a reversal of the role that women have been expected to fulfill all these years, and a welcome addition to the scene in most cases. But in terms of a relationship, work commitments can often get in the way. If you are in a job that isn’t compatible with the shifts of somebody else, or even the job that they’re doing on the whole – for example, if you were a professional criminal, you wouldn’t get involved with a police officer – then it’s time to think about whether you’re ready to commit yourself to a relationship.

Past Issues

Some people have been badly hurt in previous relationships, whether mentally, physically or both. It shouldn’t be considered as a slight, but it definitely should be considered – especially if that person is you. You shouldn’t enter a relationship without feeling truly comfortable with the person that you are getting into a partnership with, and should be able to explain your thoughts and feelings effectively without them taking the wrong end of the stick. The more that you get worked up about certain scenarios and bring it into your new relationship, the less likely that it is to work in the long run. You could try to speak to somebody about it to try and resolve some of your issues and work through them before moving on to somebody else.

Sex Life

A lot of whether you are ready for a committed relationship nowadays depends upon your sex life. There’s a lot to take into consideration here; if you can’t keep on top of your sexual health and contraception, then learning to do that can definitely help. You could think about ordering the contraceptive pill online or ordering condoms to get on top of your contraception before getting into a sexual relationship, but it’s not just safety you need to think about; you also need to think about the terms that come with it – whether it’s going to be monogamous or not. Polygamy in relationships is becoming more and more common as time goes on, and you may be with a partner who’s not exclusive to you. For those who haven’t come across this before, it can be hard to adapt to what’s going on. You need to ensure that you are fully okay with everything that is going on, for the sake of the longevity of your relationship. Any concerns need voicing, especially if you or them are bringing somebody else into the relationship.

Party Life

There are some relationships that stand the test of time regardless of what life throws at them. It’s important to remember that parties don’t go on forever, and while you may have had common interests in going out and having a good time, that could just be where your similarities end. Make sure that you are compatible with each other outside of a club venue and you could be set for a good time in the future.

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If you are not trusting of your own decisions on a daily basis, then there is little chance that you are trusting of somebody else’s. To not trust somebody who you should grow to love is starting off on a bad foot altogether. Entering a relationship with apprehension is natural, but there are boundaries that need to be set. You need to ensure that you are both on good terms with each other and can give one another the space that you both need. It’s so important to get this mutual level of trust established before you really cement your relationship, or else you are building on extremely rocky foundations.

Are You On The Same Wavelength?

Being relationship ready definitely means that you are working on the same principles as the person that you like. If you’re not agreeing about the majority of things, that’s fine – it’s healthy to have a bit of disagreement and a clash of interests in some cases, but you will know if it’s working or if it’s not. A lot of people work on common ground, but there are a few relationships which can slip through the net that are purely based on sexual attraction. Whilst these don’t tend to last in the long run, there is an element of it that you do need to take on board – fancying the person that you are with. If you aren’t attracted to many parts of them now, don’t expect to be later. There’s a lot that can be said for physical chemistry.

Growing Bored

If you are already in a relationship and can’t see a light on the horizon, it’s time to get out. It’s not a case of being ready – it’s more a case of not being in the right one. You could be ready for a match of a person, but they’re not the one that you are currently with. However, after leaving a relationship, you need to give yourself time and space to reflect on what you do want from a partner. It can be easy to rush into another relationship just to satiate that feeling of loneliness that seems to come from every break up, but pushing past it can definitely help you to get some clarity. Waiting for the right person to come along happens once in a blue moon, so don’t expect somebody to stumble across you – start mingling and networking to know more people!

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  1. Great reflections! I think this post will help many people figure out whether they’re ready for a relationship, whether they subconsciously know it or not. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Lolamia

      Ahhh thank you so much Helene x

  2. I love this! I’ve been single for a while now because I needed to take time to focus on myself. A lot of these are things I will absolutely be taking into consideration when I’m starting to date again

    1. Lolamia

      That’s great glad they are tips that can help! x

  3. I definitely agree you shouldn’t rush into another relationship after just ending one, you need time to find yourself and see what it’s like to be on your own for a while! X

    Tiffany x

    1. Lolamia

      Oh yes it’s important to rediscover yourself! x

  4. Great post! It’s so important to know yourself and to be honest on these issues. It really seems so simple, yet most of us tend to ignore them in our pursuit of finding our worth in someone else. Great job.

    1. Lolamia

      Thanks. I need to take my own advice! x

  5. I’ve a lot of friends who rush from a relationship to another without having this reflection… then do it again and again… your post is great, I’ll show them 🙂

    1. Lolamia

      Thanks it’s not easy I will try and listen to my own advice! x

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